Ah, the eternal question: what will make me the best lover? The sex advice industry is full of answers, some more legitimate than others. But let’s clear the air right away: the answer isn’t a steel erection, magical endurance, or a porn-start penis — as I say in my trailer, it’s more about confidence and competence!

Men’s Health and I are trying to spread this message so more men (and their partners!) can have the amazing love lives they desire and deserve! They interviewed me for their article These 3 Qualities Will Help Make You Way Better at Sex, and I’m so in love with their suggestions!

I used to be super insecure about sex, worried that my penis was too small and not good enough. What changed? I realized I could become a phenomenal partner by making something else considerably bigger—my knowledge base. And that knowledge — that competence — is the first step to being an amazing lover. As article author Grant Stoddard points out:

“First, get to grips with your own body and sexual response. Then familiarize yourself with that of your partner’s, figuring out a system for them to tell you what feels good and what doesn’t that doesn’t take either of you out of the moment. Then keep building on that knowledge while tailoring it to each and every new partner.”

As I told him, for me becoming competent was a game changer. I stopped obsessing about not having a porn star penis. I grew confident. I can’t teach people how to have a larger penis. I can teach them sexual competence which in turn, can help lead to sexual confidence.

Check out Grant and I’s other top qualities of an amazing lover in the full article: These 3 Qualities Will Help Make You Way Better at Sex!

And if you want to learn competence online, in the comfort of your own bedroom, check out my courses here!

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